An example most people can relate to is visiting the dentist.
Yes, I know that some people really love going to the dentists, just as there are some Catholics that go to confession
at least once a week, if not more often.
But for the majority, it is a daunting event. You've gone before and you know that it doesn't really hurt, but for some reason, it’s not something we are excited to
experience. First, you are in a waiting
room, waiting for the dentists to be ready for you. You have recently spent a decent amount of
time brushing your teeth hoping that this recent effort could save you from
having bad hygiene, but we all know that doesn't work. You get called in and sit in the chair. The dentist/their-assistant ask you if you've been brushing and if you've flossed, and you try to make it sound better than
it really is, but the dentist already knows, because they can see your teeth. It’s not worth lying to your dentist. They then proceed to clean your
teeth/gums. If you haven’t taken good
care of your teeth, it may hurt a little.
But the dentist isn't hurting you for their sick pleasure, but rather
for your betterment. They want to help you.
Any pain you feel is a healing pain, a ripping off of the dirtiness that
clings to your teeth/gums. If it’s
really bad, your gums may even bleed, but you will heal, and it is good for
you. Once your teeth are clean, dentists
usually give you some advice on keeping your teeth clean, and may even give you
some toothpaste and a toothbrush to help you.
They then send you on your way where you can decide to follow their
advice or not. It’ll affect your next
visit and the state of your teeth.
Now, you've all been to the dentist, hopefully, so try to stick with me as I compare your experience that I've outlined above to what you experience in confession. Keep in mind; I am not trying to clean my teeth in the confessional, but rather my soul. This Sacrament (Sacrament meaning a method, founded by Christ, of God’s grace formally acting in our lives) goes by three names: Confession, Reconciliation, Penance. And all three are appropriate as you confess, you have a penance, and you are reconciled before God. Each name calls out one of the major features of the Sacrament. Let’s delve a little deeper into what actually goes on. The dread of going to confession/the prep before-hand is the most uneasy part, I’d say. Sitting in a pew and going thru an examination of conscience, as to properly reflect on what you have done to offend God, is always when those feelings of dread and nervousness creep into my brain. This examination is important though, for it helps you to understand the gravity of your sin. To covet they neighbor's wife doesn't need to be a physical act, but it can be one in the heart. The examination helps break apart the 10 commandments and golden rule into practical, day-to-day situations. Once actually in the confessional, I tell the priest how long it has been since my last confession and then proceed to tell him my sins. Just like at the dentist, I am only hurting myself by lying. God knows what’s up, so honesty in the confessional is important. The priest then councils me. Usually giving advice, spiritual or practical, on how to go forth and not do it again (which I am terrible at, they always seem to be the same things I confess. And it’s not because of bad advice, I just usually never follow it… but I digress) He then gives me the absolution, acting In Persona Christi, a fun Latin phrase meaning “in the person of Christ.” After my soul has been forgiven my transgression, I am given a penance ( a task or prayer geared to help me either not sin again or repair the damage I did with my sin). I go and do that penance and the Sacrament is complete.
Now if you’ll allow me to put some words in the asker's mouth, and make some assumptions, I believe this question was asked with a certain person in mind. I can see a person who is viewed as a total jerk, who sins constantly, but is also catholic. He goes to confession, says he’s sorry, is “forgiven”, and then continues to go about sinning. I put forgiven in quotes, because for the confessor to be forgiven, he/she must be truly sorry for their sin AND have the intention not to sin again. If both are true, then forgiveness can occur. If one of those two is missing, forgiveness cannot be guaranteed by the Church. There is a phrase you have heard that everyone preaches but very few actually follow: “Don’t judge others.” Now, I am not admonishing the asker, and telling him to put this jerk’s soul out of his mind, lest he sin himself. I only mean to point out the reason we shouldn't judge others; for we, unlike God, cannot see man’s true intention, what is on his heart, whether he is truly penitent. The continuation of their sin points to the idea that the confessor wasn't penitent in the first place, but who of us hasn't wished to stop a habit of ours, and then failed after having decided to never do it again. This jerk may have been truly sorry for their sins, and then failed again, as we all do. The jerk may also have been under the false assumption that by saying he is sorry, without truly being sorry, they can be forgiven. This is a fallacy and needs to be corrected.
So asker, I say to you, if you are seeing a catholic frequent confession and yet, still is a big time sinner, keep these in mind: 1) he/she may truly be trying to change, but is finding it difficult, try helping them. 2)if he/she isn’t sorry for their sin or wish to not sin again, the Catholic Church doesn't guarantee their forgiveness, but maybe the all merciful Lord will take pity on them. Who knows, we aren't God. 3) Everyone sins. We all owe our forgiveness to the sacrifice of the Lord, Jesus Christ, on the cross. As we see in scripture, Jesus gave his apostles, and those with apostolic succession (also seen in scripture), the power to not only forgive sins (a very “Christian” thing to do), but also the power to retain them, to not forgive. Well that doesn't seem very Christian. We also see when Jesus sent out his disciples to the cities he would visit to prepare his way, they were to give their peace upon the house, but if it wasn't received, they were to take their peace back, and tell the house that they will be worse off on judgment day than Sodom. So too with the priest in the confessional. He, thru the power of Christ’s love, offers forgiveness, but only on those who are open to Jesus. 4)Poor catechesis (Christian education) happens; not all are properly trained on how to properly confess, or they forget after a while. They may be under the assumption that what they are doing is right. It may not be the nice thing, but the kind thing to do is to correct them, gently of course. Let us go forth, together, preaching of the beautiful forgiveness for our sins that Christ offers.
Lastly, I ask the asker, “What is your better alternative?” Rather than the Sacrament of Reconciliation, do you just speak to God in your mind/heart and say you’re sorry, and God then forgives you? Is that not “easier” than what we as Catholics do? I am confused, because I always thought Protestants had it easy with forgiveness compared to Catholics, with those that say “once saved, always saved” or “you just have to feel bad and your sins are forgiven.” Please respond in the comments with how your church goes about forgiveness, so that I may be better educated. Thank you.
P.S. I was once told by a priest that confession should be three things: anonymous, brief, and dark. The early church, like first 100 years, would do confession as a community. A person would come before not only the priest, but the whole congregation and tell their sins. The priest would absolve them, and the penance was given, usually to serve the community in some way (like if you were a mason, to build a new building for free while the community cared for your family). As time marched on, it was realized that people would show up to confession not as part of community of support or to confess, but only to hear what others were doing. Soon enough, confessions occurred only between the priest, acting in the person of Christ, and the penitent. As priests wish to forgive all the sins of their congregation while also trying not to judge them, the confessionals went behind screens, so as to hide the identity of the sinner, lest the priest fall into the sin of judging himself. The priest can then just be a vessel for God's mercy. Confession should be brief. Cardinal Fulton Sheen once said that "... confessions sometimes were like being pelted with popcorn" nothing really substantial, but it just takes a while. The priest who told me this urged that when I enter the confessional, have done a good examination of conscience of ready so that I can get in there and get forgiven. Have a list, written out if you must. Lastly, keep it dark. Not in the ambiance, but in your words. Don't try and rationalize your sins in the confessional with a long story, or try and make it seem not so bad, just confess. We have all offended the Lord by our actions, words, and thoughts, don't beat around the bush. I have found these words to be very affective when approaching this scary, yet satisfying Sacrament.
